I have been thinking about this subject a lot! Maybe a little in the same vein as having a teenager who doesn't know how to say thank you to Aunt Sally for a birthday gift, but more about the new way that seems to be taking over every aspect of our life. Do we have so much that we are no longer thankful for the little gifts and niceties we are given? Have we forgot to say thank you to Grandma for watching the kids. Have we forgot the Thank you when someone does something nice for us just out of the goodness of doing good?
You see it in the attitude of people who get everything they want without having to work for it. When I was young and wanted a pair of roller skates I asked my Dad if I could have a pair for my birthday or Christmas or some such gift giving event. He gave me some advice that I still remember. I was about 10 or 11 years old and he told me "If you work for them and earn the money, they will mean more to you than if somebody else bought them!" I don't think I knew exactly what he meant back then, but I know what he means now. I got a job picking blackberries for 20 cents a crate, it was hard work, getting stickers and stained hands, not to mention the many fights with my brothers and sisters. But I earned enough money to buy my own roller skates.
There were 8 kids in my family and money does not stretch very far across that number, so to help in any way was something special to me. We loved to go skating at the local roller rink, and did it often. I don't know why but it is one of my favorite memories of my early preteen years, just before my parents divorced and life changed. When we would go roller skating and I was able to save 25 cents every time because I had my own skates I felt wonderful and I loved those skates. I would polish them up after every use and put them back in the box to wait for the next time! The skates really did become part of feeling good, being grateful for not only getting something, but saving something, because of my own hard work.
Often times I see people receive a gift and never acknowledge the work that went into the giving of it. Why is it that way? why is the more we have the more we expect? Not just money, but time. If I spent 40 hours of my time making something for you that is from my heart, should I not expect the kindness of gratefulness?
I asked my husband if I am wrong in the expectation of the thanks, or if I am wrong in whom I give my gifts to. Do we have too much stuff? are we overly blessed that we become ungrateful? When I am working on a project he will ask what I am making, and who is it for? Some times he might comment and say "maybe you should make it to sell instead?" Do I have a built in guide to let me know when I am stepping over the line into the territory of "Ungrateful recipient" and not even know it?
Our favorite pastime is to go to second hand stores looking for the great bargains. There are sometimes things that are really awesome at second hand stores, brand new things, never used, never loved, so many in fact it makes me think that a lot of gifts are thrown out and never appreciated.
Thinking back over my own life on some of my ungrateful moments, I have to admit, I never gave the giver the due thanks. I remember getting a handmade vest or scarf from a relative who had a different sense of style than my own. I do remember a reaction that might not have been filled with appreciation. It is long ago to late to change the outcome of that event.
I suppose the whole thing keeps the economy going and the unappreciated items become another man's treasure. If working this formula out in my mind makes some of the disappointments more palatable, I have not wasted my time. So being a generous person should come from the heart. Enjoy the giving without expecting anything in return, even a Thank you.
As well,"To be a better steward of ones time and money", might be a good bit of advice to follow. Just as I learned so much in earning my own skates, maybe I will have to stop taking away someone's ability to earn their own skates!
No comments:
Post a Comment