I feel great, finally I am back on my training schedule and getting ready for the distance, but my mind is still wondering 'Why do I continue to run'? I am not fast, there are people much faster than I, so we know I am not trying to set any world records. I know I do it for myself, as well as to raise money for research for cancer.
To say that I run to help those that can't is really a stretch of the imagination. I even thought it was a stretch when I was working with a team and had all the coaches telling me it constantly. It is hard for me to compare having a choice to run in the morning , To chemo, radiation or painful medical procedures! It is honestly a slap in the face to the person who is going through a life threatening illness to say I am doing it for them. I think it alleviates the guilt, doing something, anything when it feels like there is really nothing to do. And since it can raise money, by getting donations to help with research financing and as in breast cancer, provide testing for those who can't afford it! So in some obscure way it is true. I run because they can't.
But really deep down inside why do I run? I do it because when I run I feel! I feel pain with my body reaching further than it did before, it is a good pain (at least that is the goal, bad pain is the obstacle) I love the time I am out running where I can clear my mind of other things, often times I work out problems, and find simple solutions. Sometimes all I do is just enjoy the senses around me, the smell of the early morning dew, the sight of the mist rising up off the lake, or the young father fishing with his child. There are so many things to look at to feel and to enjoy when it is just you and your thoughts.
I remember the conversation I had with my son when I first started thinking about running long distances, he asked me if I had any idea what was involved, and well I really did not. I have ran a lot in my life for various reasons, to get in shape, to stay in shape, to get somewhere faster! I have enjoyed it over the years, I remember when I was a kid, someone encouraged me to run track and field and I was good at it! I was a quick little sprinter, life happened and it was no longer a priority for me. Fast forward about 40 years give or take a year or two. I found my self pushing 50 out of shape, out of sync with life, just existing not really living. Challenged by my son who told me I could not do it! Ha, whether or not he did it because he knows I am challenge motivated or he seriously thought I could not do it, still remains to be seen. Now that I have 5 marathons to my name he swears it was to motivate me!
I am now 56, and knowing that the years are adding up faster than I can imagine doesn't help. But I am still working on that next run, getting ready to beat my own fastest time. My nephew says I do it because I like to brag and be known as the runner in my circle of friends who have a hard time walking enough to get their grocery shopping done. I suppose there is truth in that statement too, there is a satisfaction knowing that I can still shock some when they find out I run 26.2 miles, and at my age! and yeah sometimes I remind myself, I get a kick out of the fact that I just can!
I am also a seamstress, a quilter, a creator of clothing recycled from discarded and unused items, brought back to life to be used again. As a seamstress I love to sew and create at night when the rest of the world is sleeping; The night owl in me is enjoying the quiet house where sewing comes easy to me, often times staying up until the break of dawn.
Which brings me to the heart of my dilemma; the runner, who loves getting up real early in the morning before the rest of the world starts moving very much has a problem with the quilter taking up all my sleep time! Now if I did not need to sleep there would be no problem, I could sew all night then just as the sun started to crest the hill I could get out and run. But to run a marathon one needs sleep, lots of sleep and if I were to sew all night, run my distances necessary to qualify me for being ready to run a marathon, I would have to sleep for about 8 hours in the middle of the day! Or more likely than not, pass out while I was trying to run on no sleep,
Since I started training again 6 months ago I have tried every combination of sleep - sewing - running, to get the maximum number of hours and also have plenty of time to do the other tasks that need to be done in a day( thankfully I have the most wonderful husband who is amazingly able and willing to do most of the household tasks; cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. it is a easier problem. But there is still a problem, but for now the solution is I sew until 11:30 stop and get ready for bed so hopefully I am asleep by midnight, then up at 6am out the door to run 4 days a week. Three days are small short 5 miles or less runs, one day a week I put in some serious miles right now I am between 16 and 20, each week adding more until I have ran 30 miles (well my goal is 30 but to be honest really the longest pre-marathon miles has been around 20-22 miles. I want to run more miles than the marathon because I think that is how I am going to break my barrier to beating my goal.) After my run take my shower, unwind maybe take a nap, get other "Chores" out of the way and start sewing around 1PM. this schedule is working, well it is mostly working, but I have days where my concentration is so great on my running that I have a hard time changing gears to accomplish my sewing goals, which usually means getting my customers orders out in a timely manner. But for now it is working, with the Marathon the first week in November and the Christmas rush for the sewing pretty much the same time period, we will see how well I do managing my time for both loves.
Well thanks for stopping by, lets see how well I have managed the second week of November!
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